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Laane's blog
saturday dec 18
Djenne has a birthdayparty of a classmate.
Lars was away for an hour to a friend.
Nyo sat in front of the telly with his thumb in his mouth, folded up in his pyamas.
Thami was computering.
Yinti had the runs again, she's still not completely well.
Stef was asleep.
Jim was getting groceries.
That was saturday morning.
Pitty Lars came back. I guess he didn't feel enough adrenaline and that's why he tried to get a row.
First with Thami... no chance with mom nearby.
Then upstairs with Yinti. She made such a fuzz that he went to his own room to listen to music.
Bad weather came over us.
The sky was almost black.
Large hail came down. For a moment the world was white.
I have a large bucket in the garden, so I can keep a watch on how much water comes down.
Had to empty it three times, which indicated that an awful amount came down.
It's expected that tonight the temperature will drop below zero.
I'm sure it'll make the world here very slippery.
diabetes and more
Can't believe I can hardly walk in a normal way.
It's weird to have an injury again... Usually I'm not as accident prone.
Well, I've found out that I can move around the house when I place my foot sideways. Stretching my foot is a painful action, so it's a whiplash of the backsidemuscle of the leg.
It'll get better in time.
Got a mail from my doc.
He stated that he'd send one last week, but only now found it hadn't been send.
He immediately slipped into the helpless mode.
We know each other longer, so we know what we're doing with the other, I guess.
Well, at times we certainly do, but if it's consiously??? Don't know.
He wrote that he and his collegue (He has one for the first time, taking over a day.) agreed with
Lipitor, to try again to get my cholesterol down, after the Simvastatine caused serious side-effects.
They also agreed with the dosage. I suggested the small dose of 10 mg to slip it in. No way I want too much burden on the liver.
I still feel very emotional that I have to take medication against cholesterol.
Always had a very low level, till the diabetes broke out and ruined my health.
The doc also stated he didn't want to double the dosage of the Avandia, because they didn't want to go by a daycurve. Only wanted the HBA1c as a guide. (It's a kind of mean value over 6 weeks to 3 months.)
Well, I don't agree at all. If the glucose spikes after a meal (283 mg/dl or 15.7 mmol/l and the fasting value is too high (157 mg/dl or 8.7 mmol/l), there is something not good, even though the HBA1c is OK. (5.7)
That means that my average over a day is below: 135 mg/dl 7.5 mmol/l. Well I almost never measure values that counteract the high values to get a mean that low.
And that might be caused by the fact that the amino-acid disorder I have caused the bodycells to be built a bit different, so they can't uptake as much "indicator", thus causing a low HBA1c.
Well, in the mail I wrote back, I pointed that out.
But I also made clear I don't care anymore.
If he thinks he knows better: time will tell. It always did.... and as I base my opinion upon scientific research, time allways tells in my favor.
He also aksed me to come for a check-up, which is interesting, because he never takes initiative.
Made me remember the last time we had contact.
My iron and ferritine kept rising, going far beyond the maximum acceptable level, pointing towards hemochromatosis. When I needed another check-up I asked for measuring the ferritine.
He refused....because the health organisation needed cut-backs.
Haha!!! I wasn't asking for a DNA test! LOL!
So I told him why I asked my question and got the form for a test.
But I still feel a bit irritated, because I've always tried to be far away from doctors. I only go when I really have to.
So a broken finger, a broken toe, a whiplash, and more, haven't been under the eye of any docter. I know what needs to be done, so that's it.
Now I skipped three check-ups. (No need to do a check-up if a doc doesn't change medication.) So I saved the health system a lot of money. LOL!
I've written him why I hadn't been able to go to the hospital to get my bloodwork done.
Also gave a quick description of my physical situation.
But if he wants to see me anyway, I'm available monday-morning, if the waiting time isn't too long.
Well, we'll see.
All I want is a doctor that takes me serious and who knows his bits and trusts me when I say my thing.
Yinti got her schoolreport.
We compared how far she and Djenne are with reading and calculation.
Yinti is already doing more difficult things at calculation, but has lower points.
We all decided to top compairing points, because they can't be compaired.
Well, regardless of how the girls do at school, they have sound common sense and always a good
mood.
That's far more important!!!
Psychiatry failed to call back, so I was really exceptionally firm with Nyo, making him clear aaagaaiiinnn that certain behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.
Don't want another weekend like the last ones.
But Lars is acting out, so I guess he'll spoil the weekend.
talk with the teacher..
Thanks 'Ria and Roberta. Thanks for your support.
Had the talk with Yinti's teacher.
According to her Yinti reads not too bad. (Just not good. LOL.)
We were interrogated (no other word fits better) if we read with Yinti on a regular base.
We do.
And what we read.
"Well, about everything. Books, books we have and those from the library, leaflets, the paper."
I guess the last word is a dirty word.
She nearly jumped off her chair.
So I explained there is at time some local news she is interested in, or articles about ballet.
If she wants to read it, I'll sit with her and we both do the difficult words.
Well, according to her face that's also wrong.
I'm happy I'm not a newborn mother, but one who's already dealing 12 years with teachers. So I wasn't impressed a bit.
I feel she hasn't accomplished much at school, so... tah!
Well, we should read at a level above what she reads now. I promisingly said yes. And then asked about the level. LOL!
Then I asked if she was tested.
Only for understanding of what she read. And she understood extremely well what she was reading.
The teacher didn't understand that, as Yinti read far too much on one tone.
Yes, the girl is focussed on understanding and skippes what she thinks is less important.
"When I feel she is too much reading on one tone at home, I take a book with songs and I let her read the song in the tone it should be sung.
The teacher looked like she'd never heard about that.
Well, Maria Montessori did, and so do many other Montessori teachers. These one not, apperently.
I didn't know this teacher before, Yinti seems to like her, but I felt more and more uneasy with the way she dealt with us.
"Have you ever been with her to a speechteacher?"
Oops, another interrogative question.
I saw on her face she didn't believe the answer. "She still slisses the s."
"Yes, her s is interdental, and her w isn't right when she's a bit tired or very distracted."
The teacher looked like we were lying our butts off. LOL!
And she asked again.
I felt myself slide in the that bussiness tone I can have when dealing with certain people. Often it happens even before I consciously realise I dislike a person.
"You can get the report from the speechteacher. She's at the other end of the road and she will inform you about the fact that Yinti has a small yaw and mouth cavity, and that's because she can't say the s properly.
The teacher jumped to another subject.
"Yinti is a cheerfull, happy child, but at times she's very distracted when the day starts."
"Well, we can't be all the same mood each morning."
"I worry about that".
"No need".
Well, you don't know what's on her mind. She seems troubled."
"Does she?" I felt I got into the playing mood. This lady had a hidden agenda, and suddenly I knew what she was getting at.
We told the former teacher we were divorcing and she immediately concluded that Jim had moved out.
"Yes, she's troubled.
Don't you know why?"
You should have heard the tone!! Haha...
"All I know is that we talk about everything. And when she goes from home she's happy and eager to go to school. She loves to be with her friends.
But ofcourse I can't see what happens between the moment I wave her goodbye
and the moment she sits in your classroom."
"ofcourse you know what is bothering her....
Think!
Aha, I thought, a teacher under all circumstances.
"Why? I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"It's because of the divorce."
Suddenly I felt like my dad said to me: "wait....just let her....wait". So I looked with her with played expectancy.
"Yes", she said. Yinto can't cope with the divorce. It's quite a lot for a child. Rows and fights, and the father living elsewhere."
"You mean, pointing at Jim who was sitting beside me, that he lives elsewhere."
"Yes, and it troubles Yinti. I can see that."
I looked blank at her, and again she said "yes".
"So you have been informed by the former teacher"
"Oh no, we never talk about the families of our pupils."
"Don't you?"
"No we don't."
"Well, that's very interesting, because she's the only one in the whole wide world who knows better that we do what we do.
She's the only one, apart from you, who is telling us that Jim lives somewhere else.
"Jim never found a place to live, and so we stayed together as a family."
"Oh"
"So, we'd better focus on why she is distracted at times."
"She's distracted because of the rows you have."
I started to feel irritated. "The rows?"
"Yes, I'm divorced myself, so I can understand..."
"You can? How clever." I felt I got a bit angry.
"We just grew apart, because it's very bussy in a family like us. No need for fights. And certainly not at mornings. For your information, he is the first one under the shower, the first one downstairs, and the first one to leave. Far before the rest is wakened by the alarms. He works outside town. Well, he can inform you himself as he's sitting right beside me. (LoL!)
It was heavily silent.
"If we ever have a row or if there's something serious that will cause Yinti to be distracted at school, I'll give her a letter for you."
She suddenly realised she might have got too far. "No need to get angry. We need to take care of Yinti together."
"Well I'm not angry, but I'm grossly irritated by the fact that you have been wrongly informed about our homesituation and that you assume matters instead of getting your facts straight.
We have to care for Yinti indeed.
We have no secrets so I know what's bothering her.
She's afraid of not finsihing her work in time. She's bullied at times.
Her twinsister is bullied, and sometimes she doesn't feel well.
I hope you have been informed about the fact that we have been told at her birth that we could expect learning difficulties, like concentrationproblems, and that's why I am so keen on knowing if you have tested her.
We have asked that last year for both the girls.
Djenne is tested regularly and she gets help, The teacher of Yinti refused, because she knew everything far better than we do.
Well as it appears now that we know at least better what happens at home, maybe there's indeed concern about Yinti in the proper way here at school.
We've always been told nothing was wrong with Thami, whereas I have said that he was dyslectic from the first month he tried to read.
One of the 3 final subjects at university was leaning-disabilities, so when I say something is the matter, something IS the matter with my children.
Then it was said that Nyo was not brought up well, and you all nodded your head because of our large family and mom having no time.
Well, I've always had all the time of the world for all of my children and I've told school he was either autistic or has Asperger Syndrome.
None believed me. I know about the backtalk in the teachers room, heard it myself.
Well, Nyo was evaluated by psychiatry and they have written down the same conclusion.
Now you're telling Yinti is suffering from a divorce that never took effect.
I'm OK with the fact that the school thinks that they know my kids better..... as long as
it's respected and accepted that I know my children best.
...I'm OK with getting books of level 7 for her, I'll keep on training mathematics, and I'll inform you about important morning issues if there are any.
Then you have to focus on the bullying, at least.
When we were standing up, I saw her searching for the final word.
"I've never seen you before."
I'm sorry you're mistaken. We made acquaintance last year. And I sketched the situation. She
remembered.
"And we shook hands a couple of years ago when at the festive evening I gave a performance with my ballet ensemble.
But you're right, I'm not often at the gate. They don't want me to, and we live near school.
A note from a child, a mail...whatever and I'm ready to come or send someone over."
When I came home, I had to laugh about myself and also was irritated about that teacher.
When I walked into the room I said to the walls:
"Argghhhh.... I'm so angry with that teacher!
Yinto said at the couch.
"Are you? Have you told her that?"
"Yea.... in a way. It was very clear to her."
"Good". She sounded so very content that I asked her why.
"She can be so nasty herself that she deserves it."
The way Yinti said that was so intens, that we all burst out in laughter!!
Later that afternoon I walked up the stairs and felt something snap at the back of my lower leg.
Whiplash. I can hardly walk!!!
But because of that I saw an add about a little dollshouse.
Normally it's 25 euro. Now it was 9.
I've send someone to get it and we had the last one.
So there's alwasy a reason for everything.
You just have to see it. LOL!
the fourteenth
My friend with cancer had his CATscan.
He'll start radiationtherapy on thursday.
He'll start it bald already, because of the chemo
I hope things work out. He's not taking it according to the situation.
The meeting about Thami went well.
He'll be referred to special education. Probably meaning he'll go to the school Nyo is at.
I'm OK with him getting special education, but I don't know if it's wise to have them at the same school.
Well, there's no choice.
It was very cold outside. Freezing with a nasty wind.
Even in the house I felt cold up to my bones.
Made an appointment with Yinti's teacher to talk about her reading tomorrow after school.
She's 9 now and still reads artifically and slow.
Guess what I think?
The computer acted weird again. I'm a bit afraid he'll give up altogether before Christmas.
Hope not.
Had my hands full with the other sites, because they have done something with the advertisementsstoppers. Made the pages load very slow.
So now there are those ugly banners on top again. I hate that!!!
They also have done something that make graphics with "logo" in it disappear out of the HTML.
I think I redid them all, but if you see one missing, please report it.
I'll fix it immediately when I'm online.
I hope the computer and conncetion stay well.
One way of not feeling the loneliness is working with the graphics. Finding them, making something nice.
There are many great artists and wonderful people online.
I'm not a chatboxer or so.
And right now I'm not mailing much, because I have to do everything with my left hand.
At times I use one finger from the right hand, but it doesn't feel well.
Here in my country people don't send christmascards as early as in other countries.
It's simply not done. So I'll start writing them tomorrow, and post them later.
Well, it's about time to find my bed....
Goodnight!!!!
snow???
Oh, I guess I've spend 25% of the day looking outside to see if it started snowing. LOL!
Oh it was soooo cold....
The pharmacy offered their excuses. The eyedrops were their mistake.
Well, that's solved.
The rest is a doctor's problem then.
Finally got an appointment to get a passport.
It's so silly to have to make an appointment.
They also have the strangest security measures.
I got a number and I have to type that in to get access to that department of the council.!!
Never had to do that!!!
Because I need to have the girls and Nyo and Thami on my passport, I have to take all with me.
Oh my dear!! They have to skip school for that!!! Next monday.
I told Jim to take a free day and go with us.
I still feel odd at those moments.
A while ago we divorced, but had to undo that, because he couldn't find space to live and
because the economical measures of the government would affect us all in a terribly bad way.
They would have forced me to work, regardless of the kids or my health.
I don't mind working, but I do mind to leave an autistic child at home in the morning, at those days his school starts late, and let him come home alone.
So Jim and I decided to live together apart in the same house.
He sleeps downstairs, and I upstairs.
All in all it's the best solution. But I don't feel married anymore.
He has violated the oath of marriage. And not only once.
It's strange to live this way. There's never a hugg, and I don't want it from him anymore.
But at times it would be nice to have a shoulder, or someone who really cares.
He's at least as autistic as Nyo.
There was a lot of noise on the street all day.
Finally they came to give the trees more air around the roots, redo the pavement that was dangerously unlevelled, and prune the trees.
What a noise!!!
But it gives a special feel, the bare trees.
sunday december 12th
It has been a nuthouse here last week.
So I'm glad a new one starts, although it's with the 13th! LOL!
There's a lot to do.
Thami's report from school was very bad. His dyslexia impairs his understanding of his homework more and more now the accent has gone from learning by heart to understanding and getting/expressing insight.
There's a meeting at school and I've already let them know that think about having him go to another level.He works hard, even though the school has the impression he doesn't.
Well, he makes his homework right under my nose, so I do know!!!
I also have to get a new passport before the 31th.
For the first time since WW2 we have to have an identitycard or passport with us all the time.
I think it's nuts and a kind of stunt of the government to get more money in before the end of the month.
A passport costs about 40 dollar, and Thami needsa an identitycard. That's about 30 dollar.
So that's not very much left for Christmas.
It's kind of depressing to have to struggle all the time.
On top of it all, I didn't feel well when I was upstairs to get some laundry done.
Yesterday I put a fresh bedcover on my bed, but it had a funny smell. It's either the soap of the softener.
The kids think it smells great, but Yinti and I smell it as very odd. I had a bad night, because it influenced my breathing.I tried airing the room all day, but it still smelled sweet.
So I wanted to get it off, and then bumped on the bed.... and one of the wooden things under the mattress cracked.
Am I the only one in the world who has such stupid things?
I'm sure it'll cost a lot of time repairing that tomorrow.
Gosh...
In the meantime a friend came to bring clothes for the children.
Their boys are about the same age as Stef and Lars, so it's OK for Thami and Nyo.
And a friend nearby always has something for the girls.
She's the kind of woman who rather throws clothes away than to repair a loose seam or seams on a button.
So now the girls have velvet pants for christmas. LOL!
And some other nice things.
Thami wanted one of the gymnastics T-shirts and trousers. And I already put something apart for Nyo to wear tomorrow.
Everything is nice and clean and ironed.
It gave me a real christmassy and grateful feeling.
So all in all... it's not too bad, ej?
Now I have to go to bed and give that wrist some rest.
I have to do a lot of things tomorrow. I hope to find time to make my online friends clear I haven't forgotten them!
Huggggsss
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