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Laane's blog
saturday dec 11th
I'm very fed up with Thami and Nyo.
I know a mother shouldn't say that, but it's the truth!
Nyo, autistic/PDD-NOS, has problems adjusting to the month of december.
I can understand that. Everything is so different and there's so much special.
It started with Sinterklaas. Then it were the schoolreports,
now it's christmas coming.
And in between some of us are ill.
Now he tries to gain control by telling us all what we have to do.
Hmmppfff.
Not me!
He accepts that...in a way....
But he doesn't accept Thami complaining about him, meddling in everything that's going on and
commenting on everything.
Thami gets on my nerves, but he certainly gets on Nyo's nerves.
And so we're in a spiral of irritation.
Now it's saturday and we have a whole weekend to go.
On the bright side: I got a lovely siggy from Ela. It made me very happy.
It has a big shiney red nose.
My nose feels the same. LOL! I wonder if I'll ever get on top of that flue, or whatever it is.
Found out that last night someone tried to enter the garden.
They forced the fence-door, but I guess me being awake gave them a freight. LOL!
I guess they're after a little bike that's standing there.
Well, we've attached clean empty tins to it, so when they want to get it onto a shoulder...haha....they'll wake the whole neighbourhood!!!!
ranting on december 10th
Yesterday I send my doctor the 3 monthly question for a repeat prescription.
Because the glucoselevels have been very bad, I requested a larger dose of Avandia per day.
It's just a logical consequence of a morning value of 8.7 and values of 15.7 and such.
I also explained again about the problems I had with the cholesterol medication. I got muscleproblems with the Simvastatine. I stopped and reported it to him.
Nothing happened. After a couple of weeks I tried again, had the same pain and stiffness.
Sinds june I have taken nothing.
In a way I don't mind. I've got enough pills and inhalers.
Have to put them in boxes once a week to keep track of them.
Because taking them is such a routine, I tended to take them twice, because my attention was
not fully on swallowing them.
The cholesterolmedication is something that strangely makes me very emotional. Like there is
something inside me warning me not to take them.
On the other hand, since I have diabetes, the cholesterol has risen dramatically.
Like I drink fat. LOL! ...Yuck!!!!
Well, I asked the doctor for something else, and even made a suggestion.
Apparently I'm not taken serious.
Got from the pharmacy the usual dosage of Avandia, no cholesterolstuff, and eyedrops I used last year which caused a bad case of allergy.
So before thinking the worst of the doctorsassistent, or doctor, I mailed the pharmacy and asked if they had by accident used the prescription of last year. As it was on the same date by coincidence.
Well, I'll guess the problems lies at the doctor's practice, as they haven't replied yet.
Interesting......
I guess the doc and I are in a powerstruggle again.
He only goes by labtests, and only cares for the HBA1c. Whereas I go by the values I measure at home. The metabolic/amino-acid disease I have influences the coating of the bloodcells, so to say, so the HBA1c value (the measurement of the mean glucosevalues over the last 6 to 12 weeks) is unreliable.
Adding to it the fact that ferritine-measurement should not be done within 6 weeks past a mayor infection (and I have one now!!), and I see no reason to go to the hospital for a bloodcheck.
Well, I just can't make it. In the morning i have to stay without food from 7 hour.
Being bussy with the children, guiding them through their morning moods and such... then have to bike half an hour, and wait there for another half or so.
I just can't stay sober for so long. I tried a couple of times, and sat almost crying in the cantine, eating a slice of bare bread because I went all weird.
There's no understanding for that problem at all, and I'm sick of it.
It seems everything in society is based on people who have a car and can do whatever they want.
Well, if I can't settle this situation next week, I have to go through Christmas on 4 slices of bread a day, 2 potatoes and some very cooked vegetables.
Tell me why I'm as fat as I am? I'm 90 kilos. Maybe more.
I was 55 kilo when I got diabetes.
thursday december 9
Already during the night the sky looked strange.
I like to have the curtains open at night.
None can look inside, but I can see the stars.
I love that.
When we looked outside the window after waking up, the roofs in the neighbourhood were all white.
Not from the snow, but from the mist.
Oh, how beautiful those gifts of nature are!!
The leaves that were left on the trees are covered in white plumy velvet white, and the borders seem to be dipped in sugar.
On the branches frozen drops of water, like crystals.
Luckily there was almost no wind, otherwise the kids would have had a really bad time getting to school.
Well, those kids that have to go.
Lars and Yinti are ill.
We had a quiet day, the three of us.
I worked a bit on the wintersite, but felt far from talking with anyone at all.
Too dizzy to get the sentences OK.
A friend wanted to come and I told him not too.First let me get rid of this dizzy, fluffy head... I'm not from this world..
Nor was the white coating of everything outside.
But we stayed all day on this winterearth!
december 8
I'm still ill. Coughing all day.
It's music, as Yinti is coughing too!
My wrist making a click-noise when I make a wrong movement.
Maybe I'm falling apart!
I won't age. Just disintegrate. LOL!
Djenne went to ballet alone, as Yinti stayed at home, ill.
She came home again. The teacher was ill too.
7december 2004
Sinterklaas at school.
Nyo came home almost crying.
We took such an effort to make something nice and he ended up with something little from the sales, stuck in a bag with cottonwool and grease. Yuck!!
The same with Lars. He got two dice. Presumably from a sex-shop. One throw combines two words. One orders and the other gives bodyparts.
.....No! Not the elbows.....
So now I now have the dice. Grrr...
I guess it'll make a nice present for the schoolleader on his birthday. Grrrr....What goes round goes round.
At home the children were happy with the few presents they got.
What a relief!!!
But it's a pity that we couldn't afford a bit more.
I got a book about the city here, where I'm born and have lived all my life.
And a broken music box.
It was brought back to the shop and that was it.
Nothing else instead.
Well, I have to get rid of that child in me......
saturday dec 5
Sorry I haven't blogged for a while.
I broke a bone in my wrist. Ofcourse the one I need most.
And there have been a lot of matters to take care of.
My friend with cancer. He's doing a bit better emotionally. Right now the cancer has shrunk and has mainly disappeared, but there's still one place and it needs radiation now.
The father of a friend died, and the mother of another friend.
And on top of that our Prince Bernard died last week. (But I'm not involved in that other than that it touched me deeply.)
Right now I'm battling a nasty bronchitis; am coughing all day. And that also means the diabetes is crap.
We've had a parents evening about Nyo.
He's doing well at school, very well. So that's nice. Because at home he's a real problem.
When he's alone everything is OK, but his autism comes into vision when others are there.
Especially when Thami or Lars is at home.
Today we're preparing for Sinterklaas. It resembles the presents at christmas in other countries.
It won't be the large event as it was other years, because we don't have much to spend.
But nevertheless the kids are lloking forward to it.
As the girls "don't believe" anymore, there was a choice how to celebrate.
We thought they wanted an evening with gifts, but they wanted the old fashioned way.
So Sinterklaas comes here at night and leaves the parcels on the table.
The weather is really Sinterklaas-ish: dark, misty and at times a very bright yellow moon casting sharp shadows.
I'm working on the wintersite. It goes slow, because of my hand.
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