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Laane's blog
New Year
It was almost a pity to wake up the girls.
Two of those relaxed faces.
Djenne smiled as soon as she realised why she had to wake up.
Yinti just wanted to sleep, but we took her downstairs, and after a while she was awake too and enjoying the sweet things the boys had made.
It felt strange to watch the old years cabaret. Like the year couldn't come to an end with
everything going on.
We've all been so absorbed by the tragedy in Asia that we didn't even take the time to look back on our own year.
Well, ofcourse I had a glimpse back. I took some time a couple of days before christmas.
I needed some time with myself.
I didn't like this last year.
I told Jim to refrain from wishing me a good year, because emotionally he's not supposed to be part of it.
I feel it's being a hypocrit when he wishes me a good year, after he messed up everything we had.
It's due to my effort and mine alone that the children aren't hurt and aren't traumatised by what happened.
Just before 12 hours Yinti went back upstairs, with Stef and me going after her.
We persuaded her to come down again (and not go to sleep), and we were on the stairs when
they counted back, and came in the room when it was 12.
Well, I wanted something different... LOL!
We all had a glass with something non-alcoholic and went through the movements.
And then the fireworks started.
I felt numb... just felt nothing special.
While the 3 oldest boys were outside going to their friends, and lighting an odd piece of firework, the others were looking to the fireworks from the darkened room.
Me oh my, what a lot was going up..what a waste!!!
People had better given their money to the disaster committees.
I felt so sad.
I joined the english program and the girls and Nyo really enjoyed it.
We counted down with the Big Ben and I was in mind with my friends in England.
Then it was time for the girls to go to bed.
After the boys came home, we ate another something and we all went to sleep too.
On my mind the disaster in Asia......
It's the last day of this year.
What a year!!
Beslan, and the ongoing disaster in Asia...
Closer to home: a friend with cancer, and many more friends who have to deal with disease or the loss of their loved ones.
Not even mentioning what happened in my own life.....
It's almost too much to take in.
I wanted to do so much, but I wanted to do too much.
At times I fell completely silent, feeling guilty that I wasn't in contact with my friends.
But there are no more hours in a day.
I'm not promising things for next year.
I have to find a better way to deal with depressive thoughts. get myself out of the picture of "me" when things don't work out in my life.
It's been difficult living a life to care without someone apart from the kids and my friends, caring for me.
I feel a part of my life is fading away, and I have to shed that feeling off and go on.
Difficult that the person who caused so much pain and trouble still lives in this house.
I hope next year will be better for all of us.
Right now on TV the traditional old years' cabaret is on.
Making fun of what happened last year. It helps to take a distance.
Well... let's start the new year.
Not even an hour away from it now...
For many people it will be an important year.
As a matter of fact, all years are.
All days are.
It's easy to be changed if one wants to.
We just have to be carefull that we are surrounded by peope who bring about positive change, and more important: we have to perceive matters in sich a way that we allow ourselves to change for the better.
Each time it comes down to that: not to let others down and not to let ourselves down.
So that means: respect.
That's what I wish you all:
respect for others, respect
for nature and respect for yourselves,
and the ability to
grow.
Thank you all for being my friend. I've had such heartwarming
experiences this year, that I feel I fall short in returning.
I'm off to wake the girls. They fell asleep.
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!
Huggggsssss
snow!
SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! During the night I kept a watch, but nothing happened. When we woke up there was a thick layer of snow. The kids went outside to play and to help people clean the paths in front of the house. In the meantime it kept snowing and snowing. The temperature wasn't low enough to freeze enough to keep it the whole day, but it wasn't dripping either. In the playground the kids made a large snowman with the help of their friends and a mother. I have made some pictures with a real bad camera. 3 are left, so you can see a bit.Have a look at: :: this page ::Within the hour after finishing the snowman one of those bullying boys of the neighbourhood leveled it to the ground. Woooaaaa, that makes me soo angry!! Luckily I wasn't realy interested at the time. I'm worried about some indonesian internetfriends. Haven't heard from Cindy, who had her site on: http://www.cinderellaland.com In case you've heard something..... Yesterday I was told to be a complete fool when I said the amount of victims would be far over the 50.000 maybe even double this figure or even far more. Today it turned out I'm right. What a terribel loss to the world. So many people killed, so many homeless. So many about to die..... It has overshadowed christmas, and it overshadows everything. I'm happy for the children that they had fun. Labels: weather
spider
Jim went to work and took Nyo with him.
So we expected a quiet day.
Instead of it:
I went downstairs and when I was near the backwindow I felt something...and there it was:
A Huuuge spider!!
First I thought is was a plastic one, so I looked at the things that we undersneath it to see what they had moved to get there.
But nothing had changed at all, so it must be a real one!!
Yack!!!
Only one time before I've seen such a large
one...ages ago!! And it wasn't as large.....
So I warned Stef he should help me.
He had to swallow too....
I took a big wooden rod, and put the washing up bowl under it.
But I was too short to reach it.
So Stef tried to hit him with one try. We expected the thing to drop down, but it crawled higher....
I couldn't see it from outside anymore.
Then it crawled even higher, so we could remove the curtains.
With one blow, he was hit.
And then I sprayed it with hairspray!
Well. let's say he didn't move anymore, and the wall can't be painted anymore, because
there's so much hairspray on it.
LOL!
Later we thought we'd better kept the animal in a can or something, because it might have been escaped from a herbarium or something.
It had jucky thick legs and was so very large.
Right now I'm itching all over, and looking around me...............
bbrrrrrrr...
The rest of the day we spend cleaning and tidying, and ofcourse watching TV-news about the tsunami, and a lot more.
I feel very touched by how many people have died and how many people are traumatised.
With friends we're waiting untill the phones are working again and they'll be able to check family and friends.
This wasn't the second christmasday we expected.....
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!
The ongoing feeling of pending doom silenced when I read the seismologic entrees that night.
There have been a lot of earthquakes near Sumatra.
The first one first was registered as 8.2 on the scale of Richter, but later was adjusted to 8.9.
It was to the west of the top of Sumatra.
Only 4 or 5 quakes since 1900 have been stronger.
Another one followed right at the top of Sumatra. (7.2).
I waited for a phonecall, searched the internet for news. Only reports of people leaving their houses, some collapsed houses and no serious injuries reprted yet.
I couldn't believe it.. but on the other hand.. the area was in the ocean. So many earthquares there pass with only seismologic evidence.
"But the consequences must be devastating" I thought, before I went to bed.
When I woke up some hours later I heard about the tsunamis.
The worry about people shadowed all day.
I'd planned to get the last wishes out today, but I was too bussy with friends who were eager to know about their family on indonesia, that I completely forgot.
The short time I was online I felt like a chicken without a head, as we say here. Absolutely unconcentrated.
And it even turned out that not all christmasmail of the last week had reached its destination because of some stupid connectionproblem, so I had to resend.
In case you haven't got it, please ask.
The children expected snow, but there was none. It was cold.
They played with lego, the barbies and other things, had their games on the computer, listened music.
Jim made the second christmasdinner and completely spoiled the meat. It was nothing special, but yet....
So I ended up eating bread, because the subsitute meal was not OK for diabetics. Well, I was lucky to have a meal.
Made a memorialpage with part of the christmasset of Elizabeth.
The grey items had such a serenity...
While I was writing and checked the figures I saw them rise and rise.
Oh, so many lives are lost...so many......
Outside here, there was fog hanging between the streetlanterns. A nice christmaspicture.
An hour later the full moon came through and I stood outside, wishing all those souls that are passing a good place to come to rest.
Nature is hard, firm and forcefull.
It gives and takes whenever and whatever it wants.
We are only guests in this world, nothing more..
I wrote a christmasspecial in Dutch last week about Mary and Joseph asking for a place to sleep at the inn.
I linked it to the unwelcoming attitude of many countries, where asylumseekers and fugitives aren't welcomed the way they should.
It felt like nature backed up my plee for more care and compassion.
Again the poor people are hurt and again they are dependent on us for a place to stay and something to eat.
But strangely enough in many countries the disaster were at least 25.000 people are killed is not mentioned in the news. Or only shortly, like it's at a distant place.
Well, Jesus was born at a distant place, and we remember him each year.
So why not care for those that are left with only the clothes they wear and nothing, nothing else????
I tried to make a memorial graphic, but ended up with something crap. Only at times I end up
with something nice.
And I didn't want to make a bear or something.
Managed to watch Holby/Casualty. That is, I walked away ever so often. But at last I saw the explosion and then it ended with: "And so it is Christmas, I hope you have fun", and that really did it!!!
It made me so angry to have no consideration with people that have lost their beloved ones in situations like that.
I'm OK with drama on tv, and I'm OK with Christmassongs.
But that song at that moment....
Well, lucky BBC I couldn't log in.......
So these Christmasdays have been strange.
Here the christmastime goes on, whereas in other countries it's ended.
So moving around on internet I even feel a stranger.
Like walking past closed doors.
I've tried to find a new years set, but they have been lost during the computercrash.
so it's about what's still on the site and what I found again in my memberships.
Who cares??
Near Sumatra there have been more than 60 quakes of 5.0 to 7.0 on the Richter Scale.
The earth still hasn't found rest, and the tsunami risk is still there.
People have no shelter for the night. No clothes to warm them.
I can't help them from here.......
A baby was born to help the world... to help us all to make a better place.
It's time he returned to make clear that this world has to change for the better.
But maybe he has returned in each and every victim of the distaster.
Maybe the message is already there................
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