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Laane's blog
One of the twins has a nasty cough. But her lungs seem to be free. Nyo feels better, so that's a huge thing. The weather is amazing. The temperature is still above normal. I don't like it, because we don't have the heating on, so the laundry doesn't dry. Tomorrow it's Jim's birthday, but we all have a distantiating feeling about it. We all feel awkward, because he's tolerated in the house, and should have enough honor toleave. In a way I felt so irritated this morning that he had a day off today, that I send him to town to buy new trousers. Yes, I still have to tell him to dress properly. I was releaved he was away for some time. Laster the day a letter from his work came.40 people from his department will loose their job about june. It would be a strange turn of fate if Jim would be one of them.... I would land with the children in the same situation I tried to flee by keeping legally married. Well, I'd better not try to see in the future, but that what comes. If I didn't have children i would have gone to indonesia or somalia to help the victims. Help at a children's home. I hate to waste my life like this. Well, it's not wasted towards my own children. But I'm falling short of what I want to do with my life and it gives a strange mix of hurt and longing. I feel happy to be of help, like this week with searching for people, even if it's from behind a computer. I even wrote in french. And ofcourse I have written some articles to help to motivate people who can pull thousands from their accounts! A person can't do without dreams. If Jim gets the sack we will never be able to give the girls the dollhouse we dream of, but nothing is lost with looking. Oh, such a lovely houses!! have a look yourself: :: here ::See you tomorrow!!
I have been looking around for a free site where the banners are minimal and there are certainly not whole pages that pop-up.
So I found one and was very glad, but when I took a better look it said that one had to apply for a premium within 45 days, otherwise large banners would be displayed on top.
Then I landed somewhere with such a difficult system that it took me hours before I had the index-page up. Now I know why some people are not able to do even that.
LOL!
On TV was a large moneyraising program to help the victims of the earthquakes and the
tsunamis.
The program was a mix of emotions. The lighter tone beside movies and accounts from the regions, songs and a lot more.
The fund-raising CD is great. I love the song. Good text and very melodious.
When it was about 24.00 hours they had already raised: 112.144.000 euros.
Not bad for such a little country.
And there's more to come.
And that's apart from what the government has given.
One by one the studies about the earthquakes and tsunamis are reported.
The first reports say there's a piece of land that's more than 100 km long and about 20 km wide
that is lifted, because one part of the earthshells is pushing itself under another shell.
The aftershocks are so many, and a large part is still above 5 on richter, that I keep worrying.
We were finally able, with the group, to get in contact with friends of the family of one of us.
They fled the tsunami and made it all, but they have nothing left. Not even clean clothes.
But they are alive!!!!
This also gives hope we'll be able to track down the other families too.
During our long hours of searching we found double names on the lists and have reported that to the help-organisations.
I wish I could go there and help with my hands.
Or comfort those who have lost their beloved ones.
Giving money never gives me a better feeling.
We even forgot to celebrate the three kings day. We ususally do here, with children going to the doors singing songs.
But it's forgotten, like burning the lights on the christmastree.
It feels like someone has taken away the meaning of the season...but maybe it's in the way people spend emotions on the disaster.
They came back
In a normal week Jim doesn't work on wednesdays. He does the groceries and runs errands. If necessary we can take one of the children to a doctor or so, visit a school, whatever.
But yesterday he announced that he had an agreement with me he would work today.
hu...he???? Agreement????
He never said one word!!
Everybody was as amazed as I was, and he told he'd better not work on friday, because all the offices were moved.
Well, there was no way to change his mind. He decided to take Nyo with him.
I told him not to.... but they already had made their minds up.
We had a quiet morning. I started cleaning and tidying their room with the girls, and we took our time.
Even forgot lunch, but as a diabetic I have a kind of internal clock.
We were just downstairs when Thami said Nyo and his dad were coming home.
We thought he was joking....
naj.......
They came home because Nyo was ill again......
So I got my groceries done after all, while I was cleaning up after Nyo....grr......
He's different...
Mailed an online friend to be sure she was safe after the tsunamis.
She mailed back she was OK. Pffff.
Still haven't heard about some other people.
Friends of me have family in the disaster area, and we're searching for info.
Haven't succeeded yet.
Just saw a friend who has cancer again.
He's left now and has left a weird feeling.
For quite some time now he battles Hodgkin.
It took rather a long time before he acknowledged that something was wrong and went to a doctor.
Then the cancer appeared to have grown into an advanced stage.
It was quite a shock to him and he, in a way, incapsulated himself.
None was allowed to ask how he was doing, etc.
Well, I've had my bit in the past, so I did ask, and later he said I was the only person who he was able to confide in.
I felt like walking on tripwire. Afraid to say something wrong, ready to listen for parts of my days, and sometimes able to put some information or advice in.
We went through a lot.
And I went through some extra feelings, like when he said he didn't want to have radiation therapy and he'd rather die.
And he started to make arrangements, detailed arrangements.
And now?
I feel he's closed up completely.
Does it mean he's doing well and can cope on his own?
Have I done something wrong?
Have things gone worse and is he taking a distance?
Who knows......
He even walked out without a hugg. In good moods, but so absorbed in himself that he didn't even take notice.
One of the girls called him to give him a little applepie. We grabbed our chance to give him a huggg and that was completely OK.
But something is different......
I don't know what......
Well, time will tell...
When you're an 18 year old boy, it shouldn't be a problem to stay with a friend during vacation, shouldn't it?
Not even when it is in another town.
I was asked after dinner to sit down and have a talk.
First he asked if he was allowed to stay the night with a friend after a birthdayparty.
I first told him again that I didn't like him to drink too much. He never did. But at times kids do
everything to belong to a group.
And after that I told him that he was 18, capable of the responsibility, so it was "yes".
Then he told me about the fact that the party is in another town.
Argghhhh!! Do they ever grow up???
Trying to manipulate...playing on safe!!!
We still haven't heard from some people who live or who were in the disaster areas.
To work more efficient to find friends and family members of friends, we have organised our
efforts.
3 of us coordinate, so there's at least 1 person available every hour of the day.
And we've split up the work.
I went through long lists of names...... not all lists are on internet yet, so there's always some hope.
But after so many days one expects that people would have contacted one of us.......
It's so sad.....
And the earth still hasn't come to rest. Each day there are earthquakes in the same sea-areas, at the same depths.
They're up to 5.8 on the scale of Richter, so that's not nothing.
One can only hope and pray that no more heavy quakes follow.
We sat in the room having a cup of coffee when another very large spider .....arghhhhhh!!!!!
It cracked when Jim hit him!!! ....wwwhhhaaabbbbbaaaaa!!!
They are sooo large...where do they come from???
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