talk with the teacher..
Thanks 'Ria and Roberta. Thanks for your support.
Had the talk with Yinti's teacher.
According to her Yinti reads not too bad. (Just not good. LOL.)
We were interrogated (no other word fits better) if we read with Yinti on a regular base.
We do.
And what we read.
"Well, about everything. Books, books we have and those from the library, leaflets, the paper."
I guess the last word is a dirty word.
She nearly jumped off her chair.
So I explained there is at time some local news she is interested in, or articles about ballet.
If she wants to read it, I'll sit with her and we both do the difficult words.
Well, according to her face that's also wrong.
I'm happy I'm not a newborn mother, but one who's already dealing 12 years with teachers. So I wasn't impressed a bit.
I feel she hasn't accomplished much at school, so... tah!
Well, we should read at a level above what she reads now. I promisingly said yes. And then asked about the level. LOL!
Then I asked if she was tested.
Only for understanding of what she read. And she understood extremely well what she was reading.
The teacher didn't understand that, as Yinti read far too much on one tone.
Yes, the girl is focussed on understanding and skippes what she thinks is less important.
"When I feel she is too much reading on one tone at home, I take a book with songs and I let her read the song in the tone it should be sung.
The teacher looked like she'd never heard about that.
Well, Maria Montessori did, and so do many other Montessori teachers. These one not, apperently.
I didn't know this teacher before, Yinti seems to like her, but I felt more and more uneasy with the way she dealt with us.
"Have you ever been with her to a speechteacher?"
Oops, another interrogative question.
I saw on her face she didn't believe the answer. "She still slisses the s."
"Yes, her s is interdental, and her w isn't right when she's a bit tired or very distracted."
The teacher looked like we were lying our butts off. LOL!
And she asked again.
I felt myself slide in the that bussiness tone I can have when dealing with certain people. Often it happens even before I consciously realise I dislike a person.
"You can get the report from the speechteacher. She's at the other end of the road and she will inform you about the fact that Yinti has a small yaw and mouth cavity, and that's because she can't say the s properly.
The teacher jumped to another subject.
"Yinti is a cheerfull, happy child, but at times she's very distracted when the day starts."
"Well, we can't be all the same mood each morning."
"I worry about that".
"No need".
Well, you don't know what's on her mind. She seems troubled."
"Does she?" I felt I got into the playing mood. This lady had a hidden agenda, and suddenly I knew what she was getting at.
We told the former teacher we were divorcing and she immediately concluded that Jim had moved out.
"Yes, she's troubled.
Don't you know why?"
You should have heard the tone!! Haha...
"All I know is that we talk about everything. And when she goes from home she's happy and eager to go to school. She loves to be with her friends.
But ofcourse I can't see what happens between the moment I wave her goodbye
and the moment she sits in your classroom."
"ofcourse you know what is bothering her....
Think!
Aha, I thought, a teacher under all circumstances.
"Why? I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"It's because of the divorce."
Suddenly I felt like my dad said to me: "wait....just let her....wait". So I looked with her with played expectancy.
"Yes", she said. Yinto can't cope with the divorce. It's quite a lot for a child. Rows and fights, and the father living elsewhere."
"You mean, pointing at Jim who was sitting beside me, that he lives elsewhere."
"Yes, and it troubles Yinti. I can see that."
I looked blank at her, and again she said "yes".
"So you have been informed by the former teacher"
"Oh no, we never talk about the families of our pupils."
"Don't you?"
"No we don't."
"Well, that's very interesting, because she's the only one in the whole wide world who knows better that we do what we do.
She's the only one, apart from you, who is telling us that Jim lives somewhere else.
"Jim never found a place to live, and so we stayed together as a family."
"Oh"
"So, we'd better focus on why she is distracted at times."
"She's distracted because of the rows you have."
I started to feel irritated. "The rows?"
"Yes, I'm divorced myself, so I can understand..."
"You can? How clever." I felt I got a bit angry.
"We just grew apart, because it's very bussy in a family like us. No need for fights. And certainly not at mornings. For your information, he is the first one under the shower, the first one downstairs, and the first one to leave. Far before the rest is wakened by the alarms. He works outside town. Well, he can inform you himself as he's sitting right beside me. (LoL!)
It was heavily silent.
"If we ever have a row or if there's something serious that will cause Yinti to be distracted at school, I'll give her a letter for you."
She suddenly realised she might have got too far. "No need to get angry. We need to take care of Yinti together."
"Well I'm not angry, but I'm grossly irritated by the fact that you have been wrongly informed about our homesituation and that you assume matters instead of getting your facts straight.
We have to care for Yinti indeed.
We have no secrets so I know what's bothering her.
She's afraid of not finsihing her work in time. She's bullied at times.
Her twinsister is bullied, and sometimes she doesn't feel well.
I hope you have been informed about the fact that we have been told at her birth that we could expect learning difficulties, like concentrationproblems, and that's why I am so keen on knowing if you have tested her.
We have asked that last year for both the girls.
Djenne is tested regularly and she gets help, The teacher of Yinti refused, because she knew everything far better than we do.
Well as it appears now that we know at least better what happens at home, maybe there's indeed concern about Yinti in the proper way here at school.
We've always been told nothing was wrong with Thami, whereas I have said that he was dyslectic from the first month he tried to read.
One of the 3 final subjects at university was leaning-disabilities, so when I say something is the matter, something IS the matter with my children.
Then it was said that Nyo was not brought up well, and you all nodded your head because of our large family and mom having no time.
Well, I've always had all the time of the world for all of my children and I've told school he was either autistic or has Asperger Syndrome.
None believed me. I know about the backtalk in the teachers room, heard it myself.
Well, Nyo was evaluated by psychiatry and they have written down the same conclusion.
Now you're telling Yinti is suffering from a divorce that never took effect.
I'm OK with the fact that the school thinks that they know my kids better..... as long as
it's respected and accepted that I know my children best.
...I'm OK with getting books of level 7 for her, I'll keep on training mathematics, and I'll inform you about important morning issues if there are any.
Then you have to focus on the bullying, at least.
When we were standing up, I saw her searching for the final word.
"I've never seen you before."
I'm sorry you're mistaken. We made acquaintance last year. And I sketched the situation. She
remembered.
"And we shook hands a couple of years ago when at the festive evening I gave a performance with my ballet ensemble.
But you're right, I'm not often at the gate. They don't want me to, and we live near school.
A note from a child, a mail...whatever and I'm ready to come or send someone over."
When I came home, I had to laugh about myself and also was irritated about that teacher.
When I walked into the room I said to the walls:
"Argghhhh.... I'm so angry with that teacher!
Yinto said at the couch.
"Are you? Have you told her that?"
"Yea.... in a way. It was very clear to her."
"Good". She sounded so very content that I asked her why.
"She can be so nasty herself that she deserves it."
The way Yinti said that was so intens, that we all burst out in laughter!!
Later that afternoon I walked up the stairs and felt something snap at the back of my lower leg.
Whiplash. I can hardly walk!!!
But because of that I saw an add about a little dollshouse.
Normally it's 25 euro. Now it was 9.
I've send someone to get it and we had the last one.
So there's alwasy a reason for everything.
You just have to see it. LOL!
