She came to tell us in a very friendly way that we needed to wait ten minutes longer.
In reality we waited twice as long while the sun started to shine outside.
The meeting was very relaxed.
She asked us if we'd thought he could be autistic.
Hahah...not at all!
In a way this surprised her, so I think she sailed too much on the diagnosis of his brother.
She asked, so we told her why.
She reached for the DSM manual and started to ask all the important questions.
He's a clear ADHD'er.
Told her so!!!
At a certain moment she said:
"That's quite something, a family of 6 with an autistic boy and one with ADHD."
I thought this was not just a spontaneous remark, but it probabbly would be the start to something, so I tried to stay neutral.
"Yes, and we haven't even spoken about the third boy."
"Do you ever have some private time, some time for yourself?"
"No, it's a 24/7/12 job."
"Does anyone take it over sometimes?"
I was a bit surprised.
Suddenly she turned to the father of the children: "You, for example."
He didn't know what happened. "Eh..no, I can't."
"And why not?"
He didn't give an answer so I told her that he's far too impulsive.
That he doesn't analyse what happened before his eyes, but just reacts out of his needs of the moment.
"I'm sure you'll get a lot of comments. In many families with an autistic child and a ADHD'er the mother has the full responsibility for the social interaction and a lot more."
"Yes, I do get a lot of comments."
"For example....?"
Silence.
Well, I always tell him that he first needs to observe carefully what's happening. Then he has to decide which action will be appropriate. Or he has to analyse if the reaction he's about to give gives the results he wants.
So it comes down on very basic strategical thinking.
"And you don't...?"
"Eh, no."
"Can't you learn this?"
"I think so."
"Well I think it's time you did.".
Then she started to talk about special monetary support, which enables us to hire someone to take over my role.
She asked what I would do if I had some time off.
"Well it depends on what I feel at the moment."
Then the conversation went on, untill we reached the subject again of using ritalin.
At school the teachers said that they thought my son would be able to reach better results if he would be able to concentrate more.
So after some talking we decided to try ritalin for some time.
"But I want to start it straightaway then. School only lasts a couple of weeks. If we start next week another week is lost.
Give him the chance to show what he can. I'm not all for ritalin, but you want to try it out, then you should start today. "
After some thought she agreed.
So I got the tablets and talked with him at home.
After about an hour it started to work. He fell asleep. LOL!
Later we had a good talk without him tapping his fingers on the table or forgetting what he was saying in the middle of the sentence.
WoW!!!!!!
